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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
name: Zoloft
2010/08/15 5:54 AM
The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
2010/08/15 6:11 AM
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
name: Tranny
2010/08/15 6:12 AM
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
name: Tranny
2010/08/15 6:13 AM
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
2010/08/15 6:14 AM
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
2010/08/15 6:15 AM
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
2010/08/15 6:18 AM
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
2010/08/15 6:36 AM
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
2010/08/15 6:36 AM
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
2010/08/15 6:47 AM
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
name: Codeine
2010/08/15 6:47 AM
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
2010/08/15 6:52 AM
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
2010/08/15 7:07 AM
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
2010/08/15 7:23 AM
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
2010/08/15 7:27 AM
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
name: Ambien
2010/08/15 7:38 AM
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
2010/08/15 7:40 AM
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
2010/08/15 7:44 AM
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
name: Cialis
2010/08/15 7:45 AM
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
2010/08/15 7:50 AM
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
name: fat cow
2010/08/15 7:51 AM
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
name: Asian Sex
2010/08/15 8:29 AM
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
2010/08/15 8:36 AM
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
2010/08/15 8:40 AM
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
2010/08/15 8:41 AM
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
name: Ambien
2010/08/15 8:53 AM
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
2010/08/15 8:54 AM
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
2010/08/15 9:16 AM
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
name: fulltilt
2010/08/15 9:17 AM
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
2010/08/15 9:21 AM
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
2010/08/15 9:24 AM
They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.
name: Powerball
2010/08/15 9:31 AM
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
2010/08/15 9:42 AM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
2010/08/15 9:57 AM
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
2010/08/15 10:01 AM
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
2010/08/15 10:36 AM
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
2010/08/15 10:47 AM
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
2010/08/15 10:50 AM
Men have become the tools of their tools.
name: Celebrex
2010/08/15 10:51 AM
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
name: bra
2010/08/15 10:55 AM
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
2010/08/15 11:36 AM
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
2010/08/15 11:44 AM
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
2010/08/15 11:45 AM
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
name: Diet
2010/08/15 12:44 PM
In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
name: Facials
2010/08/15 12:49 PM
Barabsi's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
name: Facials
2010/08/15 12:50 PM
Barabsi's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
name: cfnm
2010/08/15 1:02 PM
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
2010/08/15 1:04 PM
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
name: insanity
2010/08/15 1:17 PM
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
name: Cum Shots
2010/08/15 1:55 PM
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
2010/08/15 2:35 PM
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
2010/08/15 2:36 PM
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
name: Anal
2010/08/15 3:02 PM
If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.
2010/08/15 4:11 PM
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
2010/08/15 4:45 PM
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.
2010/08/15 5:02 PM
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
2010/08/15 5:30 PM
When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
name: blue host
2010/08/15 6:37 PM
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
2010/08/15 7:46 PM
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
2010/08/16 12:36 AM
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
2010/08/16 1:00 AM
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
name: Cialis
2010/08/16 1:16 AM
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
2010/08/16 1:41 AM
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
2010/08/16 3:21 AM
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
2010/08/16 4:32 AM
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
2010/08/16 5:47 AM
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
2010/08/16 7:49 AM
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
name: EFL
2010/08/16 9:29 AM
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
2010/08/16 1:44 PM
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
name: gadgets
2010/08/16 1:45 PM
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
name: gadgets
2010/08/16 1:46 PM
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
2010/08/16 2:17 PM
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
name: Extenze
2010/08/16 2:50 PM
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
2010/08/16 4:50 PM
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
2010/08/16 5:54 PM
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
2010/08/16 6:15 PM
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
2010/08/16 6:55 PM
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
2010/08/16 7:46 PM
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
2010/08/16 8:51 PM
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
2010/08/16 8:56 PM
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
2010/08/16 9:23 PM
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
2010/08/16 10:20 PM
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
2010/08/16 10:57 PM
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
2010/08/16 11:43 PM
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2010/08/17 12:51 AM
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
2010/08/17 12:57 AM
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
2010/08/17 1:18 AM
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
2010/08/17 2:07 AM
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
2010/08/17 2:09 AM
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
2010/08/17 2:20 AM
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
2010/08/17 2:31 AM
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
name: Ambien
2010/08/17 2:32 AM
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
2010/08/17 2:45 AM
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
2010/08/17 3:19 AM
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
2010/08/17 4:40 AM
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
2010/08/17 4:52 AM
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.
2010/08/17 5:56 AM
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
2010/08/17 6:42 AM
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
name: monavie
2010/08/17 7:11 AM
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
2010/08/17 8:27 AM
Smith & Wesson the original point and click interface.
2010/08/17 9:25 PM
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
name: Ultram
2010/08/17 9:25 PM
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
2010/08/17 9:52 PM
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
2010/08/18 12:30 AM
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
name: Vig-RX
2010/08/18 12:30 AM
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
2010/08/18 1:37 AM
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
name: Valium
2010/08/18 1:38 AM
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
2010/08/18 2:10 AM
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
2010/08/18 2:12 AM
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
name: Propecia
2010/08/18 2:45 AM
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
name: Tramadol
2010/08/18 3:44 AM
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
name: Tramadol
2010/08/18 3:45 AM
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
2010/08/18 3:46 AM
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
name: Ambien
2010/08/18 3:48 AM
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
name: Cialis
2010/08/18 3:48 AM
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
2010/08/18 4:49 AM
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
name: Valium
2010/08/18 5:15 AM
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
2010/08/18 5:51 AM
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
2010/08/18 6:47 AM
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
2010/08/18 6:52 AM
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
2010/08/18 7:54 AM
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
name: ExtenZe
2010/08/18 8:50 AM
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
name: mortgage
2010/08/18 10:46 AM
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
2010/08/18 11:12 AM
But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
2010/08/18 3:55 PM
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
2010/08/18 4:31 PM
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
2010/08/18 5:04 PM
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
2010/08/18 7:23 PM
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
name: p90x
2010/08/18 8:42 PM
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
name: Cialis
2010/08/18 10:12 PM
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
name: Levitra
2010/08/19 12:05 AM
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
name: Levitra
2010/08/19 12:06 AM
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
2010/08/19 12:31 AM
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
2010/08/19 5:16 AM
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
2010/08/19 5:35 AM
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
name: Vimax
2010/08/19 7:27 AM
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
name: Vimax
2010/08/19 7:27 AM
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
name: 888casino
2010/08/19 9:55 AM
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
2010/08/19 9:55 AM
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
2010/08/19 10:18 AM
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
2010/08/19 11:43 AM
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
2010/08/19 12:31 PM
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
2010/08/19 2:14 PM
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
name: Hgh
2010/08/19 2:48 PM
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
name: mortgage
2010/08/19 2:49 PM
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
2010/08/19 3:37 PM
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
2010/08/19 5:38 PM
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
2010/08/19 6:22 PM
When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
name: Vimax
2010/08/19 7:22 PM
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
name: Cialis
2010/08/19 11:36 PM
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
name: Propecia
2010/08/19 11:36 PM
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
2010/08/19 11:57 PM
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
2010/08/19 11:57 PM
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
2010/08/20 5:36 AM
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
2010/08/20 12:43 PM
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
2010/08/20 12:48 PM
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
2010/08/20 12:48 PM
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
2010/08/20 1:12 PM
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
2010/08/20 3:21 PM
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
2010/08/20 3:26 PM
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
2010/08/20 4:32 PM
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
2010/08/20 4:32 PM
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
name: Free Porn
2010/08/20 5:02 PM
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
2010/08/20 5:37 PM
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
2010/08/20 6:38 PM
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
2010/08/20 6:43 PM
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
2010/08/20 7:51 PM
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
2010/08/20 9:51 PM
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
2010/08/20 11:03 PM
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
name: Ambien
2010/08/20 11:03 PM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
2010/08/20 11:17 PM
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
2010/08/20 11:25 PM
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
2010/08/20 11:25 PM
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
2010/08/20 11:26 PM
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
2010/08/20 11:27 PM
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
2010/08/21 1:14 AM
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
name: Levitra
2010/08/21 1:59 AM
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
2010/08/21 2:07 AM
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
name: Valium
2010/08/21 3:19 AM
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
2010/08/21 3:42 AM
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
2010/08/21 3:49 AM
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
name: E-Cig
2010/08/21 6:56 AM
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
2010/08/21 7:04 AM
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
2010/08/21 8:19 AM
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
2010/08/21 8:42 AM
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
2010/08/21 10:28 AM
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
2010/08/21 10:29 AM
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
2010/08/21 10:36 AM
I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep it that way.
2010/08/21 1:39 PM
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
name: p90x plus
2010/08/21 2:03 PM
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
name: Ativan
2010/08/21 6:04 PM
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.
2010/08/21 6:38 PM
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
2010/08/21 9:01 PM
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
2010/08/21 10:15 PM
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
2010/08/21 10:16 PM
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
2010/08/21 10:51 PM
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
2010/08/21 11:23 PM
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
2010/08/21 11:29 PM
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
2010/08/22 12:36 AM
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
2010/08/22 12:38 AM
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
name: Zoloft
2010/08/22 12:43 AM
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
name: Lamisil
2010/08/22 4:01 AM
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
2010/08/22 4:13 AM
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
name: Xanax
2010/08/22 5:18 AM
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
name: Buy Soma
2010/08/22 5:37 AM
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
name: Viagra
2010/08/22 9:24 PM
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
2010/08/22 10:37 PM
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
name: Cialis
2010/08/23 5:37 AM
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
name: Codeine
2010/08/23 8:28 AM
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
name: GenF20
2010/08/23 9:26 AM
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--
name: Porn
2010/08/23 10:49 AM
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
name: Green Tea
2010/08/23 10:49 AM
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
name: Green Tea
2010/08/23 10:50 AM
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
2010/08/23 11:14 AM
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
2010/08/23 1:35 PM
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
2010/08/23 1:39 PM
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
name: Porn
2010/08/23 2:44 PM
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
2010/08/23 2:51 PM
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
2010/08/23 3:30 PM
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
name: Total Gym
2010/08/23 4:04 PM
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
2010/08/23 5:14 PM
If a man does his best, what else is there?
2010/08/23 5:17 PM
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
2010/08/23 5:18 PM
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
2010/08/23 6:24 PM
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
name: Propecia
2010/08/23 11:39 PM
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
2010/08/24 12:04 AM
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
2010/08/24 12:06 AM
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
2010/08/24 12:07 AM
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
2010/08/24 4:21 AM
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
2010/08/24 5:48 AM
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
2010/08/24 9:18 AM
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
name: Ambien
2010/08/24 9:50 AM
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
2010/08/24 11:23 AM
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
2010/08/24 11:24 AM
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
name: vimax
2010/08/24 3:03 PM
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
name: Zoloft
2010/08/24 8:47 PM
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
2010/08/24 8:47 PM
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
2010/08/24 9:11 PM
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
2010/08/24 9:12 PM
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
2010/08/24 11:58 PM
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
name: Valium
2010/08/25 12:00 AM
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
2010/08/25 1:31 AM
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
name: Sex Toys
2010/08/25 3:29 AM
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
name: Vibrator
2010/08/25 3:50 AM
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
name: Propecia
2010/08/25 8:30 PM
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
name: Codeine
2010/08/25 8:58 PM
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
name: vimax
2010/08/25 10:48 PM
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
2010/08/26 2:45 AM
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
name: Cialis
2010/08/26 3:10 AM
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
2010/08/26 3:51 AM
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
name: skidsteer
2010/08/26 6:16 AM
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
2010/08/26 6:57 AM
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
2010/08/26 7:37 AM
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
2010/08/26 7:38 AM
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
2010/08/26 8:01 AM
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
2010/08/26 9:02 AM
A hen is only an eggs way of making another egg.
name: Viagra
2010/08/26 9:22 AM
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
2010/08/26 10:10 AM
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
2010/08/26 10:31 AM
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
name: Valium
2010/08/26 11:05 AM
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
2010/08/26 11:56 AM
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
name: Valtrex
2010/08/26 12:02 PM
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
2010/08/26 12:31 PM
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
2010/08/26 1:19 PM
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
2010/08/26 2:51 PM
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
name: funbrain
2010/08/26 2:59 PM
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
2010/08/26 4:27 PM
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
name: bowman
2010/08/26 4:29 PM
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
2010/08/26 4:54 PM
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
name: Fun Games
2010/08/26 6:32 PM
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
2010/08/26 6:37 PM
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
name: pacman
2010/08/26 6:59 PM
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
name: Dating
2010/08/26 8:12 PM
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
2010/08/26 9:15 PM
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
2010/08/26 9:30 PM
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
2010/08/26 9:56 PM
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
2010/08/27 12:38 AM
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
name: Tramadol
2010/08/27 1:40 AM
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
2010/08/27 2:13 AM
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
2010/08/27 2:14 AM
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
2010/08/27 2:51 AM
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
2010/08/27 3:08 AM
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
2010/08/27 5:05 AM
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
2010/08/27 5:35 AM
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
2010/08/27 7:05 AM
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
2010/08/27 7:06 AM
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
2010/08/27 7:31 AM
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
2010/08/27 8:39 AM
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
2010/08/27 9:14 AM
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
2010/08/27 9:45 AM
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
name: Wedding
2010/08/27 9:46 AM
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
2010/08/27 10:17 AM
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
name: vimax
2010/08/27 10:27 AM
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
2010/08/27 11:58 AM
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
2010/08/27 12:16 PM
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
name: bwin
2010/08/27 12:50 PM
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
2010/08/27 1:05 PM
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
name: Extenze
2010/08/27 1:16 PM
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
2010/08/27 1:19 PM
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
2010/08/27 1:19 PM
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
2010/08/27 1:44 PM
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
2010/08/27 2:36 PM
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
name: Cat Box
2010/08/27 2:59 PM
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
2010/08/27 3:11 PM
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
name: Ben 10
2010/08/27 3:28 PM
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
name: Poker
2010/08/27 4:35 PM
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
2010/08/27 5:09 PM
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
name: Jokes
2010/08/27 5:09 PM
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
2010/08/27 5:22 PM
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
2010/08/27 5:37 PM
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
2010/08/27 6:18 PM
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
2010/08/27 6:48 PM
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2010/08/27 7:11 PM
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
2010/08/27 8:00 PM
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
name: bowman
2010/08/27 8:10 PM
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
name: bowman
2010/08/27 8:10 PM
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
2010/08/27 8:31 PM
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
2010/08/27 9:39 PM
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
2010/08/27 10:23 PM
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
name: Nutrients
2010/08/27 11:16 PM
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
2010/08/27 11:17 PM
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
2010/08/27 11:31 PM
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
2010/08/27 11:40 PM
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
name: Ambien
2010/08/28 12:06 AM
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
2010/08/28 12:33 AM
Barabsi's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
name: betfair
2010/08/28 1:19 AM
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
2010/08/28 1:24 AM
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
2010/08/28 1:58 AM
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
name:
2010/08/28 2:30 AM
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
2010/08/28 2:53 AM
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
2010/08/28 3:27 AM
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
2010/08/28 4:22 AM
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
name: bet365
2010/08/28 4:24 AM
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
2010/08/28 4:24 AM
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
2010/08/28 4:48 AM
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
2010/08/28 4:52 AM
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
2010/08/28 5:48 AM
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
2010/08/28 5:54 AM
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
2010/08/28 6:02 AM
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
name: purses
2010/08/28 6:12 AM
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
2010/08/28 6:34 AM
You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
name: Poker
2010/08/28 7:42 AM
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
2010/08/28 7:44 AM
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
2010/08/28 8:09 AM
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
2010/08/28 9:23 AM
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
2010/08/28 10:15 AM
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
2010/08/28 10:25 AM
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
2010/08/28 10:59 AM
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
2010/08/28 11:43 AM
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
2010/08/28 12:26 PM
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
2010/08/28 12:35 PM
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
name:
2010/08/28 12:39 PM
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
name:
2010/08/28 12:43 PM
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
2010/08/28 1:13 PM
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
2010/08/28 3:31 PM
If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.
2010/08/28 4:50 PM
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
2010/08/28 6:04 PM
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
2010/08/28 7:00 PM
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
name: Cialis
2010/08/28 8:06 PM
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
2010/08/28 8:08 PM
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
2010/08/28 8:08 PM
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
2010/08/28 8:33 PM
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
2010/08/28 8:43 PM
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
2010/08/28 8:43 PM
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
name:
2010/08/28 9:04 PM
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
2010/08/28 10:56 PM
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
2010/08/28 10:57 PM
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
name: Cialis
2010/08/29 12:17 AM
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
name: Buy Xanax
2010/08/29 12:17 AM
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
name:
2010/08/29 12:18 AM
If you are going through hell, keep going.
2010/08/29 12:48 AM
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
2010/08/29 12:49 AM
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
2010/08/29 1:53 AM
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
2010/08/29 1:53 AM
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
2010/08/29 1:57 AM
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
2010/08/29 2:43 AM
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
2010/08/29 3:30 AM
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
2010/08/29 4:39 AM
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
2010/08/29 6:05 AM
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
2010/08/29 6:19 AM
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
2010/08/29 7:46 AM
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
2010/08/29 8:18 AM
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
2010/08/29 9:20 AM
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
2010/08/29 10:55 AM
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
name: Jokes
2010/08/29 11:01 AM
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
2010/08/29 12:00 PM
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
2010/08/29 12:38 PM
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
2010/08/29 1:39 PM
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
2010/08/29 2:27 PM
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
2010/08/29 4:56 PM
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
2010/08/29 5:00 PM
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
name:
2010/08/29 6:11 PM
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
2010/08/29 7:42 PM
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
name: mortgage
2010/08/29 7:42 PM
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
2010/08/29 8:10 PM
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
name:
2010/08/29 8:36 PM
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
name:
2010/08/29 8:37 PM
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
name: Tramadol
2010/08/29 8:45 PM
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
name: Ambien
2010/08/29 9:16 PM
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
2010/08/29 9:52 PM
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
2010/08/29 11:48 PM
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
2010/08/29 11:52 PM
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
2010/08/29 11:59 PM
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
name: Valium
2010/08/30 12:58 AM
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
2010/08/30 2:35 AM
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
2010/08/30 2:36 AM
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
2010/08/30 3:28 AM
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
2010/08/30 4:10 AM
Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
2010/08/30 5:41 AM
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
2010/08/30 5:59 AM
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
2010/08/30 6:28 AM
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
2010/08/30 7:15 AM
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
2010/08/30 8:36 AM
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
2010/08/30 8:37 AM
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
2010/08/30 8:37 AM
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
name: Cialis
2010/08/30 8:52 AM
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
2010/08/30 8:58 AM
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
2010/08/30 8:58 AM
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
name: Cialis
2010/08/30 10:23 AM
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
2010/08/30 11:42 AM
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
2010/08/30 1:13 PM
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
2010/08/30 1:58 PM
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
2010/08/30 6:18 PM
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2010/08/30 6:18 PM
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2010/08/31 2:20 AM
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
2010/08/31 7:33 AM
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
2010/08/31 7:35 AM
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
name: Slots
2010/08/31 8:06 AM
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
2010/08/31 9:07 AM
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
2010/08/31 11:59 AM
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
2010/09/05 7:27 AM
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